Two weeks ago, I issued an Easter/Passover challenge to write letters of gratitude (i.e. “What You Appreciate Appreciates,” SMC March 28, ’21). I decided to take my own medicine, and write a post-marked letter of gratitude a day. What I hadn’t counted on, was the impact that this exercise would have on me in just seven short days. True to the research, I found that the discipline of contemplating someone who has blessed me, then handwriting a letter of gratitude to them (complete with concrete memories) lifted my mood, and set a better course for my day. That result didn’t surprise me. I sort of thought something like that might happen. What is coming into focus, spiritually, has been more of a surprise.
After seven days, it seems like I am paying more attention to the otherwise unnoticed acts of kindness and grace that are always coming my way. On a spiritual level, it feels like I am noticing the sacred, un-repeatable-ness of people way more frequently. For example, I have been to many track meets over the years. Yesterday, I found myself continually moved by the determined looks on young faces (including my daughter) to giving their event, and team everything that is in them. The friendship between competitors seemed almost miraculous to me. That fundamental insight that each of us are a unique expression of Holy Mystery has been coming more and more alive for me this week. Oddly, I have also found myself humming old songs associated with the time zone of the memories that I have shared with the people who are the subjects of my gratitude.
Below, you will find an example of one of the letters I have written. I thought I would share it with you as an encouragement to give this sacred discipline a whirl in your own life.
Dear Anthony,
You don’t think I have ever shared my last name with you, but you have always referred to me as, “Tom.” I am the guy who always gets his groceries bagged in paper . Well, this is a long overdue note to thank you for the service and care that you have provided me over the years. What I want to highlight in this note, is that when you work with me, I get so much more than efficiently handled, and well-packaged groceries.
The way you discharge your duties has a way of making me feel taken care of. You know me and address me by name! When you ask me if “I found everything okay?,” I always know that this is not just a formality. You really want to know! More than once you helped me when I couldn’t find something. More than once, that question helped me recall an item I would have otherwise forgotten.
More importantly, there is an intangible thing you have provided me. When I was growing up in Springfield, Illinois, we had a neighborhood grocery store in our township of Southernview. The longtime employees of that store were like you, Anthony. They knew your name, were friendly, and knew their jobs by an expertise built up over years of doing it. What I am trying to get at is that you make that huge Schnucks supermarket feel like a neighborhood store where I can feel at home.
In this last year of the pandemic, I think everyone has learned that a feeling of home is no small thing. What’s more, you create a space where people feel their own dignity. This past year has revealed that people are starving for that. You communicate a sense of dignity in all that you do. Anthony, I think you provide dignity to your customers because there is so much dignity and grace in you. Schnucks is lucky to have you. I am lucky to know you. You are a blessing, not only to me, but to all who have the good fortune of making contact with you. What it all comes down to is that I want you to know that I appreciate you.
In Gratitude,
Tom Wagner